I am still struggling with my emotions. I don’t feel like I did in the beginning where I felt kind of a wave of sadness and I just wanted to cry. Now I feel fine most of the time, but I get periods where I just feel “blah”. I know that a lot of it is that I am just tired. I am getting a decent amount of sleep, but I definitely don’t sleep all night. I am starting to think that the “blah” feeling might just be fatigue…. I just don’t remember that it lasted this long with Emma. Scott and I talked about it last night, and he said that he remembered that it did last for a really long time. I guess maybe I just blocked it out If I remembered what it felt like, I may have never had any more kids. I wish I had been blogging then so I could go back and read it. I think it would reassure me if I could read about how I felt then, and know that eventually I got back to normal.

I have been a bit frustrated with the whole thing. Before I came on this trip I felt like I was totally back to normal. It kind of took me by surprise the day we traveled here to get those feelings again. I know that day, I was exhausted and a little overwhelmed with the traveling. I think that part of it too, is that there is a lot of down time here in North Carolina. Before I came here I was really busy all the time, so maybe I was too busy to think about it?

I don’t know….I am just trying to be patient with myself, and realize that I have just had a HUGE change in my life, and I need to give my body and my mind a chance to adjust. I know that it won’t be too long before I am feeling back to myself again. I just start to feel guilty that I am wishing away this newborn period with Nora. I know that later I will look back on it, and wish she was a tiny newborn again I won’t remember the hard emotional part.

Tonight Scott and I are going on a date to see Borat!