A few weeks ago I posted about a parenting seminar that I attended at Soaring Wings.

Last week (or maybe it was the week before ) I attended the second class in the series. This one was titled “‘Honey, I Sold the Kids’ and other discipline strategies.

We started out talking about what exactly discipline means. From Wikipedia:

In its most general sense, discipline refers to systematic instruction given to a disciple. This sense also preserves the origin of the word, which is Latin disciplina “instruction”, from the root discere “to learn,” and from which discipulus “disciple, pupil” also derives.

To discipline thus means to instruct a person or animal to follow a particular code of conduct, or to adhere to a certain “order.” Consequently, “in the field of child development, discipline refers to methods of modeling character and of teaching self-control and acceptable behavior.

For me, the ultimate goal of discipline is to teach my kids to tap into their own compass of right and wrong and use it to make their own good decisions.

Lisa described discipline as guidelines. She spoke about 3 types of guidelines: No guidelines, off the path, and on the path. No guidelines means just what you think–wide open, no rules, do whatever you want. Off the path mentality is when you only talk about what not to do. It could also be when you make the “correct path” so small that it is hard get it right no matter what. The last one, on the path mentality, is what we all strive for. This is where we point out what behaviors we want to see. Then we catch them doing those behaviors and point them out.

We wrapped up the seminar by talking about the 2 Keys to Character Building Discipline. This tied everything together and was the most useful part of the seminar for me.

1) Crystal Clear Guidelines: Use forward focused questions to get them focused on the positive and what is coming.

This works wonders for me. If I can explain to my kids what is coming next ahead of time it saves me so much hassle and drama. When we get home from school I start doing this as I pull into the garage. We talk about how when we get out of the car we will take all of our things with us. When we get into the house we will take off our boots or shoes and put them away. Next we will hang up our coats and our backpacks. After all this is done we will all get to do something we enjoy, like have a snack, do some art projects, or just have some free play time. It is so much better to prepare them ahead of time, rather than yell at them later when all their stuff is either in the car or all over the laundry room floor.

2) Follow Through: this is the key to everything for me. You need to mean what you say, and then actually do it, every time. This sounds so easy, but in practice it can be so hard.

So far I have learned some things at both seminars that have been helpful. More than anything, it just helps to be reminded of some of these things. I know most of them, it is just the putting them into practice that needs more work!