The last couple of weeks have been really hard emotionally. Unfortunately, I feel like I can’t really talk about most of the things that have been going on. We are just having some family drama.

I can’t really say what it is, but I feel like I need to write something just to help me process things. I feel like I am on a roller coaster lately. A few weeks ago I had an incredibly stressful week. I was so emotionally spent. I spent every waking moment thinking about the problem and talking to people trying to figure out how to intervene and help improve the situation. It was unbelievably stressful.

I found myself constantly on the phone. That means that I was neglecting most of the other things I needed to be doing. The house was a mess, dinners were not planned, and the kids were incredibly grumpy because I wasn’t able to do the things I needed for them. I was a lousy mom because I was so stressed out about the other things going on. I found myself breaking down crying, alternating between being sad about neglecting my kids and worrying about what was happening.

Things kind of came to a head, and then I calmed down and had a few days where I could breathe and things started to get back to normal. The problem is, things aren’t normal. Everyone is just pretending they are.

The emotions just keep creeping back in. I get a text, or a phone call and the whole issue just gets opened up again. I get blamed for being the bad guy, when really I am just doing the hard things that need to be done.

I am trying to keep my distance from the whole thing. I know I can’t really do anything. I have done all that I can do. The best thing for me to do now is to just sit back and wait. I have to concentrate on my little family and my kids. I need to keep being a good mom to my kids and a good wife to my husband. Sometimes it is just hard. I find myself driving down the road thinking about it, and sometimes I just can’t help but burst out in tears.

I’m sorry I can’t really open up more. I’m sure this left most people even more confused. But this is my blog and it is about my life. I just needed somewhere to vent and to try to help me deal with some of my emotions. Thanks for listening.