The other morning Ian came in early and climbed into bed with me. I had been having a bad dream that we had lost him in a crowded place. I was so happy to see his sweet little face when I woke up. I scooped him up and cuddled him in bed. I told him that I had a bad dream about him. He looked at me and said “So, you had a nightmare? Remember that nightmare that I had?” Then he proceeded to tell me the story of when he got eaten by a giant spider.

“First, it took a bite of my legs all the way up to my knees.”

“Then it took a bite of me all the way up to my stomach.”

“If the giant spider at me up to my stomach, I would have to be in a wheelchair, sitting on my stomach. Wouldn’t that be funny mom?”

It was such a cute little moment. I just had to write it down so someday when he is all grown up I can remember all his cute little stories.

Ian turns five today.

After spending Monday at the hospital with Mike and Maren, I have been thinking a lot about all of my births. In some ways it just feels like yesterday that I became a parent for the first time. I remember all of my births very vividly. I know it might sound crazy, but I really did enjoy all of them. Of course, there were parts that I didn’t enjoy, but overall I had 3 really great natural childbirths.

Since today is Ian’s birth day, I went back and read his birth story. You can read it here if you are interested. I wish I had posted more pictures. I was blogging then, but I just didn’t include very many photos with my posts. Maybe I’ll have to go back and add some soon.

Ian’s birth was definitely the most exciting of all of my births. I can still remember the last car ride to Salt Lake like it was yesterday. I still think back and wonder why I wasn’t more persuasive with my midwife Marcia. I knew that I shouldn’t be sent home. I know that I should have stood my ground and told her I wanted to stay. But, I guess that is why they say hindsight is 20/20. Still, that was without a doubt the worst trip to Salt Lake we have ever taken. It was dark and snowing. And I was using every ounce of energy I had to hold him in. I was so relieved when we finally got there. I couldn’t get my clothes off fast enough. One push and his head was out.

But once he was in my arms, all of that was forgotten. I remember just laying there staring at him. I felt like he and I were the only ones in the room. I held his hand and rubbed his back. Before long he wanted to nurse…..and nurse and nurse and nurse.

Since then he has grown so fast. I can’t believe that he turns five today. He continues to be full of energy. His intensity is challenging at times, for me and his teachers. But he is such a charmer. He looks at you with the cutest little smile, and he could almost get away with anything. He is such a smart little guy. He started talking amazingly well at two, and his vocabulary has continued to grow.

In April he started reading. I was so surprised! He had been watching Emma and he wanted to try too. I got him some simple books and he just sat down and started reading. We have been working on his writing skills. It is just hard to get him to sit still long enough to focus on it. He can write his name and most of his letters, he just needs more practice. Right now he loves anything to do with Star Wars and Transformers. I think that he has every Transformer there is! He knows how to transform all of them. Some of them are so complicated that I can’t even do them. Many times he has to show me how to do them.

We are having a family party tonight at Chuck E Cheese, and he will have a party for some of his friends on Saturday. Today we had his birthday celebration at school. You can read a great post about the Montessori birthday celebration on my friend Vicky’s blog. It was really sweet, and he was over the moon about the whole thing. He told everyone he saw that today was his birthday.

Happy birthday my big Five year old. You bring a lot of joy to all of our lives!

Please take the time to share your birth experiences. The more people that fill it out, the better the database will be.

Last night I went to see this movie with a friend (Hi Vicky ). I thought it was an amazing movie. I loved watching the incredibly beautiful home births. I couldn’t help but get teary eyed as I watched those tiny wet babies enter the world and lay on their mothers chests. I loved watching all the moms and their reactions as they looked at their babies for the first time. It was so touching. I kept thinking of the births of my own children as I watched, particularly Nora’s birth.

As I look back at Nora’s birth, I don’t think I could have asked for a better or more perfect birth experience. I still remember the calm excitement I felt all day, knowing that I would be meeting my baby soon. Being in labor was welcomed. I spent the day with Scott, working with each contraction, until I thought it was time to go to the birth center. When I got there, I was still free to do whatever I felt like I needed to do. Becky was nearby, in case I needed her, but she left Scott and I on our own to do what we needed. I sat on the birth ball, wandered around, and watched a movie. I felt so calm and relaxed. Even right up until transition, I felt like it was too easy, and I couldn’t possibly be getting close to delivering. I told Scott that I was sick of being in labor. Not because it was painful, I was just ready to be done. He just smiled at me and said “Well, that’s good, because you will be done soon.” I didn’t know I was in transition, but he did. Shortly after that I got into the tub and everything went fast from then on. Nora was born about 10 minutes later. I vividly remember the first moment I picked her up out of the tub and held her on my chest. She wasn’t breathing right away, but Becky was so calm and professional, that I hardly knew there was anything to worry about. I just held her and looked at her and felt that “birth high” that they talked about in the movie.

Watching that movie and thinking about my own birth, I think that every woman deserves to have a birth like that. I know that ultimately the goal is a healthy baby, but so many women are missing out on an amazing life changing experience. Women don’t believe in themselves, and they don’t think they can do it. Their doctors perpetuate the idea, and they end up with so many interventions that they can’t have a natural birth even if they wanted to.

One of the best things about this movie is that it shows normal women having normal natural births. It shows women that it can be done. I think this is one of the biggest problems with our society today. Women don’t hear about natural births. Our society just sees childbirth as a traumatic medical event. I loved that this movie showed that normally childbirth isn’t a dangerous medical procedure. I think it did a great job of showing how the vast majority of deliveries are normal natural occurrences, but that complications can arise. And midwives are trained to recognize the warning signs. One woman was transferred to a hospital, and she ended up having a cesarean section. But it was a necessary c-section, not one brought on as a result of too many medical interventions. It showed perfectly how the system is supposed to work.

I hope that all men who are pregnant or thinking about getting pregnant will see this movie!

I woke up at 4:30am with contractions that felt different than the last few days. They kept me awake for quite awhile. I listened to a few hypnobabies scripts, and fell back to sleep. Emma came into our room and woke me up at about 7:15am. I woke up quite sure that I was going to meet our baby soon! When I got up I had some really strong contractions, and lots of not so strong ones. When I went to the bathroom, I noticed that I had was losing my mucus plug.

I went for a really nice walk. I went by myself, and I walked the loop up through Hidden Cove. The temperature was perfect, and the leaves looked so beautiful. I even saw two moose–really close to me! I walked around the corner and they were about 10 feet from me. I gingerly crossed the street away from them and kept on walking.

I got back, and decided to take a shower, and just pack up some last minute things that I wanted for the birth. I called my mom and told her that I thought that today would be the day. Scott and I finished getting ready and then we took the kids to my parent’s house. By this time it was around noon. We decided to go do some errands, just to keep active. Then we went to have a nice lunch at the Hapa Grill. I was having consistent contractions every 5 minutes or so, and decided to call Becky and let her know that we would be coming in soon.

We got to the Birth and Family Place at about 3:00pm. She put me on the monitor, and checked me. I was thrilled to be 4 cm and about 80% effaced. I still felt like it was going to be a while, so Scott and I decided not to check in, and we went to do some more errands. We got a Jamba Juice and then walked around Fashion Place mall. I was having to stop with each contraction, and decided I was ready to go back to the birth center.

We got back around 6:00pm. I laid down for a few minutes, but I was happier just wandering around. I did that for a while, and then I sat on the birth ball while Scott and I watched “American Beauty”. I was still having contractions about every 5 minutes, but they were really manageable. Becky filled up the tub in case I wanted to get in it, but I felt like I wanted to wait until I really needed it. Around 8:00pm I started to feel a bit discouraged. I looked at Scott and told him that I was sick of this, and I was ready to be done I should have known that meant I was almost done, but I just thought that my contractions were so manageable that I couldn’t possibly be getting that close. Just after that I decided to get into the tub. It felt wonderful—the water was so warm and soothing. I had a very strong contraction and right at the end of it I started to feel a little bit “pushy”. I told Scott, and he wanted to know if he should get Becky. I waited until I had another contraction to see how that felt. I felt even more “pushy” so Scott went and got Becky. With my next contraction my water broke and then things really got moving. I reached down and could feel my perineum bulging with the baby’s head. I was having intense burning and I pushed out the baby’s head with that next contraction. Becky saw that the cord was tightly wrapped around baby’s neck. I pushed out the body with the next contraction, and reached into the water and picked up my baby. I looked between her legs right away, and said “You are a girl”. She wasn’t breathing right away. Becky gave her two breaths and she seemed to start to come around, but she needed one more. The last one did it, and she started to pink right up. I just sat there in the tub looking at her, and I couldn’t believe that she was born so easily. I saw Scott looking down at her and I heard him say “Hi Nora” and it really sunk in that we had a new little girl. I sat in the tub for a few minutes and Nora started to nurse. After a few minutes I started to feel the urge to push out the placenta. It slid out easily, and it looked great.

We moved out of the tub and onto the bed. We got Nora all dressed and bundled up and she nursed some more. I started bleeding pretty significantly and had to get a shot of Pitocin. The shot didn’t quite do it, and I was still passing a bunch of large clots. I could tell that Becky was getting worried, and I started to get worried too. They started me on a Pitocin drip with some fluids, and that seemed to take care of things.

Becky did Nora’s exam, and everything looked great. She examined my perineum and said that it didn’t even look like I had a baby. I didn’t tear or anything. I didn’t even have any swelling. It was amazing, especially after knowing how I felt after my last birth. I was really feeling exhausted, and ready to sleep. Scott and I settled into bed, and went to sleep for the night. It was really an amazingly easy birth!

We had some excitement the next morning, however, when Nora gave us a bit of a scare and choked and stopped breathing. She vomited and got something caught in her airway. She turned blue and started to get limp. Becky had to suction her and got her to start breathing again. But, she was still struggling too much to breathe. We started her on blow by oxygen and that helped her, but as soon as we stopped that her oxygen levels dropped too low. We decided to go to the hospital to get her checked out. We went by ambulance to the University of Utah Newborn ICU. We stayed there for 24 hours and she did great the whole time. They did some test, and monitored her, but they didn’t find anything. They said it was probably an isolated incident where she aspirated some of the vomit and tried to protect her airway by not breathing. We spent the night with her there, and then came home the next morning. We were all very glad to be home.

I had another appointment with Becky yesterday. I never thought this time I would get to 41 weeks It went really well. My weight stayed the same–it has been the same for the last few weeks. Blood pressure was great, as always. The baby looked good and everything seems to be on track. She did a vaginal exam, and I was fully expecting her to say that I was still closed and not effaced. But, she said that I was much more anterior and softer than last week, and I WAS DILATED TO 2 CM! I was thrilled, even though I know that doesn’t mean much It is the most I have ever been dilated before active labor.

We had a good conversation about what happens if I do get to 42 weeks. That is something that has been weighing on me. The thought of having to go to the hospital and get induced is just terrible to me. We also adjusted my due date, based on ovulation, which gives me a few extra days. Now I have until next Wednesday–October 11th. But, she really put my mind at ease about the whole thing. She said that she has lots of ways to get the baby to come. She set me up for what she calls an “eviction” on Saturday. She has me get up and have sex, then start taking black and blue cohosh, and come in at 9:00am to have my membranes stripped. Then I will walk for 1 hour, and have my membranes stripped again, then walk again. Then some nipple stimulation, then more stripping and walking. She said almost everyone goes into active labor by lunch. If I don’t, she will send me home to go to sleep, and I should wake up in active labor by the evening. So, I felt A LOT better, knowing that I probably wouldn’t need to be induced, and that there is an end in sight. I felt like a huge weight had been lifted.

Today I woke up at 4:30am with strong contractions. They kept me awake for quite awhile. I listened to a few hypnobabies scripts, and fell back to sleep. Emma woke me up at about 7:15am by coming into out room. I woke up quite sure that today would be the day. When I got up I had some really strong contractions, and lots of not so strong ones. When I went to the bathroom, I noticed that I had lots of mucus–I think I may be losing my mucus plug.

I just got back from a really nice walk. I went by myself, and I walked the loop up through Hidden Cove. The temperature is perfect, and the leaves looked so beautiful. I even saw two moose–really close to me! I walked around the corner and they were about 10 feet from me. I gingerly crossed the street away from them and kept on walking.

I am hoping that today will be the day, but we will have to see…….

Another Monday and I am still pregnant….I had a REAL false alarm on Saturday night. My parents took the kids, and my dad told us to go out for a nice dinner. Scott and I went for a walk in the afternoon, and then we had some intimate time and then we took a little nap. I started having strong contractions about every 5-7 minutes apart. We went to SLC and met Bryan and Catherine, and Jason and Mariella who were all here visiting. The contractions continued all night. We had a great dinner at The Bayou. The food was great, and I was getting excited that the baby was finally going to come! We finished about 10:00pm, and I debated calling the birth center, but decided to go home and try to get some sleep. I fell asleep listening to my “Come Out Baby” script, but woke up in the night with nothing I was so disappointed, and REALLY surprised.

Sunday the contractions were still there, but not as strong and not nearly as regular. Scott and I went on another walk–a 2 hour walk. It was nice, but it just didn’t spur on the contractions like the day before. We relaxed in the hot tub, and then decided to go pick up the kids from my parents. Bryan and Catherine came up for a BBQ. After we put the kids to bed we tried having sex again, but no baby…. I have noticed that by the end of the day the baby is really head down. The head is right in the middle of my pelvis just about even with my pubic bone. But when I lay down and go to sleep, I wake up and the head is on the right side of my pelvis. I think it takes time to get the head to get back lower, and if the head isn’t down on my cervix, the dilation is going to be much slower. Today I am sitting on my ball immediately after getting up in hopes of getting the baby off to a good start asap this morning.

Tomorrow I am scheduled for another midwife appointment and an NST at St. Marks Hospital. I am hoping that I will deliver today, and that I won’t have to go but it isn’t looking good.

It’s Monday and raining, and I am thinking about taking the kids to the MOM movie. It is “Open Season” and I am sure that the kids will like it. I guess it would give me something to do besides think about the baby

Hopefully my next post will be announcing our new little one!

I am still here, and still pregnant I had an appointment with Becky today, and all is well. My weight stayed the same from last week, and bp was fine. She did a vaginal exam today, since I am overdue now. I was 50% effaced and about 2cm. I was hoping for a bit more progress, but I am not too discouraged by it. I was only 50% and about a 1 with Ian, and I delivered 3 hours later. We scheduled an NST for next Tuesday, but I hope that I won’t need it.

Last night I was really tired after taking the kids to the MOM movie. I felt like I could be going into labor, just because I felt so “off”. But…no such luck. I have been walking the past few days. I have really good strong contractions while walking, but they always calm down when I get home. Today I walked with Ian in the jogger, and I had great, strong contractions every 3 minutes or so, but they have spaced out since I got home. Maybe I will go on another walk later…..

I am still feeling pretty good. I am in a good mood today, and feeling positive. I know that it can’t be too long now.

I got my photos from Peek-a-boo Photos today. They came out really nice. I am glad that we had them done.

I had such a hard day yesterday. I got up and felt pretty good–I took Emma to school and then I went to Walmart, and Smiths to get some last minute things I wanted to have in the house. I decided to go to Bed Bath and Beyond, too. I bought some beautiful chocolate brown sheets and new placemats. I got home and put everything away, and started to feel like I had been run over by a truck. I was so exhausted and grumpy. I had such a bad attitude–I just wanted to be done being pregnant. I tried to keep talking myself out of it, and tried to be more positive, but I just couldn’t

I finally laid down to try to take a nap at about 2:00pm. I fell asleep and about 15 minutes later the doorbell rang. I wasn’t going to answer it–I figured it was the UPS or FedEx guy. But Ian went to the door, and I could tell someone was there. I got up and it was PF. He came over on his way back to Denver to see the kids. Ian was excited to see him.

After he left, I put on a movie for the kids and just laid in my room with them. I rested and read. I had a really hard time forcing myself to get up to make dinner. Luckily I bought a premade chicken in the morning, and I just had to pop it in the oven After dinner I cleaned up while Scott put the kids to bed. It was really nice. I immediately changed into my jammies and got in bed to watch some TV and relax. I think I went to sleep about 9:30pm!

I woke up a bunch in the night, but that is nothing new. I felt fine, just like I feel every other night when I wake up. This morning I woke at about 6:30am and my contractions felt pretty regular and just a little different. I felt a lot more pressure. I listened to some of my hypnobabies and tried to go back to sleep. I just couldn’t sleep. I think I was partially excited thinking this could finally be it, and partially just uncomfortable. I laid there just feeling them, trying to decide if they mean anything. After all the prodromal labor I have had, it is just hard to tell. About 7:30am Emma got up and asked for breakfast, so I got up with her. Now I am typing this, and my birthing waves seem to have slowed down. I am thinking about going to take a shower. We will see what happens……

Well, I am officially 39 weeks. I am really wishing baby would come out soon I knew that the end would be difficult. I kept telling myself to be patient, and trying to convince myself that I probably would have an October baby But, it didn’t really work. I have been having prodromal labor for weeks. I have had so many contractions, there is no way I could count them all. I have had lots of episodes of really strong, and regular contractions, but they just don’t seem to turn into anything. Last night was a prime example–I was contracting about every 3 minutes, and they were STRONG! Scott and I tried every “natural” method we could to help jump start labor but nothing seemed to work. I went to bed contracting, but woke up feeling fine. I know this baby will come when it is ready, I just hope it is soon