Please take the time to share your birth experiences. The more people that fill it out, the better the database will be.

Last night I went to see this movie with a friend (Hi Vicky ). I thought it was an amazing movie. I loved watching the incredibly beautiful home births. I couldn’t help but get teary eyed as I watched those tiny wet babies enter the world and lay on their mothers chests. I loved watching all the moms and their reactions as they looked at their babies for the first time. It was so touching. I kept thinking of the births of my own children as I watched, particularly Nora’s birth.

As I look back at Nora’s birth, I don’t think I could have asked for a better or more perfect birth experience. I still remember the calm excitement I felt all day, knowing that I would be meeting my baby soon. Being in labor was welcomed. I spent the day with Scott, working with each contraction, until I thought it was time to go to the birth center. When I got there, I was still free to do whatever I felt like I needed to do. Becky was nearby, in case I needed her, but she left Scott and I on our own to do what we needed. I sat on the birth ball, wandered around, and watched a movie. I felt so calm and relaxed. Even right up until transition, I felt like it was too easy, and I couldn’t possibly be getting close to delivering. I told Scott that I was sick of being in labor. Not because it was painful, I was just ready to be done. He just smiled at me and said “Well, that’s good, because you will be done soon.” I didn’t know I was in transition, but he did. Shortly after that I got into the tub and everything went fast from then on. Nora was born about 10 minutes later. I vividly remember the first moment I picked her up out of the tub and held her on my chest. She wasn’t breathing right away, but Becky was so calm and professional, that I hardly knew there was anything to worry about. I just held her and looked at her and felt that “birth high” that they talked about in the movie.

Watching that movie and thinking about my own birth, I think that every woman deserves to have a birth like that. I know that ultimately the goal is a healthy baby, but so many women are missing out on an amazing life changing experience. Women don’t believe in themselves, and they don’t think they can do it. Their doctors perpetuate the idea, and they end up with so many interventions that they can’t have a natural birth even if they wanted to.

One of the best things about this movie is that it shows normal women having normal natural births. It shows women that it can be done. I think this is one of the biggest problems with our society today. Women don’t hear about natural births. Our society just sees childbirth as a traumatic medical event. I loved that this movie showed that normally childbirth isn’t a dangerous medical procedure. I think it did a great job of showing how the vast majority of deliveries are normal natural occurrences, but that complications can arise. And midwives are trained to recognize the warning signs. One woman was transferred to a hospital, and she ended up having a cesarean section. But it was a necessary c-section, not one brought on as a result of too many medical interventions. It showed perfectly how the system is supposed to work.

I hope that all men who are pregnant or thinking about getting pregnant will see this movie!

I have been feeling a lot better since my last post. I think it helped to talk about it with Scott and to just get all my feelings out there. It helped to hear him say that it didn’t matter how I feel while I am pregnant, but what matters is how I feel after the baby is here. And, funny enough since then I have been feeling much better. I have been feeling the baby kick, and I have been feeling much more connected. I saw a mom at the movies nursing a newborn and I just felt all tingly knowing that will be me soon

I had another visit with Becky today and all is well. My weight was 143 1/2 on her scale–which was weird because I was 144 at home this morning with no clothes, and before I had eaten anything….who knows. So I guess so far I have gained about 8 pounds. I am really happy about that! My all my other stats were perfect. Baby’s heart rate was 156 and my uterus was just about to my belly button. And, we scheduled the ultrasound! I am kind of glad we waited to schedule it, because I didn’t have to anticipate it for such a long time. Now I just have to wait 5 days Scott will be in town so he will be able to go with me too. I am excited about it, even though we won’t find out the sex. I can’t wait to just get a look at the baby and to hear that he/she is healthy! I am going to be sure to tell the ultrasound tech that I don’t want to know the sex of the baby. Someone in my pregnancy buddy group found out accidently during her U/S because the tech didn’t tell her to look away. I do not want that to happen to us!!

The last week or so has been really hard. I have not been feeling myself emotionally at all. I am extremely tired and grumpy all the time. I don’t remember feeling this way with any of my last pregnancies. It is really starting to bother me. I have been fighting with Scott constantly, although I don’t think it is just me. I know that I am more sensitive than normal, but I think he is extra defensive and quick to snap at me too. I am really feeling pregnant, and not in a good way. Maybe I needed this to bring closure to the whole pregnancy thing for me. I am feeling really glad that I will not be doing this again

I am concerned lately about how I am going to take care of 3 kids!! Scott is gone most of the weeks and I will be parenting 3 kids mostly by myself. I have been so tired lately that just 2 are exhausting, what am I going to do with 3??? I REALLY wanted this baby, and I still really want it, I am just having a bit of a hard time and feeling overwhelmed with the anticipation of taking care of 3. I have been thinking about maybe finding out the gender to help me bond a little more, but maybe just seeing the baby at the ultrasound will help me bond a bit more.

I just hope this passes soon. I feel like crying a lot of the time, and I hate being grumpy with Scott!

I just felt the baby move for the first time!! I have been anticipating this for such a long time. I just wrote to my pregnancy buddy group about being jealous of everyone that was feeling movement. I couldn’t wait to feel this baby. I am sure that this was baby and not gas or anything else. It have been sitting here at the computer and feeling steady “pops” for about 10 minutes. It is so amazing that I have a baby inside me. I have really been trying to savor every minute of this pregnancy. I know that this is my last, and I want to really enjoy it. My belly has definitely grown this week. I could see a big difference from this weeks picture, compared to last weeks!

I haven’t posted much in the last couple of day, because nothing too exciting has been happening. I was really busy for the last 3 days cooking. Laurel had her baby, and I made her family dinner. I figured I would kill 2 birds with 1 stone and I would make dinner for Sonya at the same time. I made stuffed shells, which I thought were delicious, but a bit spicy. We had them for dinner too, and we have enough for another night, too. Bonus!

I am feeling like I need some new pants NOW! I have been trying the rubber band trick, but it really isn’t working. My pants are just too tight everywhere else too…. I got out my tub of maternity clothes, but nothing in there will really work. I am not wearing all the “big” pants I have. They fit in the waist, but are HUGE everywhere else. I am donating them to the thrift store. I need to go down to the Old Navy at Jordan Landing. I heard they have a big maternity department in the store. Maybe they will have something that works.

I need to go get Emma ready. She is going over to Christine’s house to play…..

Thursday I had another midwife appointment. Everything looked great. Scott came with me, which was nice. He was nice about it, I know it just isn’t something he is really into doing. But I wanted him to come so he could hear the heartbeat. She did all the tests–pap, urinalysis, breast exam, and blood work. I weighed 139, which I was pretty happy about. I have gained about 2-3 pounds depending on the day and the scale. Then we got out the Doppler. She started listening really low down by my pubic bone. She tried for a while and started to look frustrated, and I started to get worried. Then she asked me “Where did we hear it last time?” I pointed to the spot up higher, just to the left of my belly button. She tried there, and voila–perfect little heartbeat!! She said that it was odd to have it be so high this early. Becky said that means that my uterus is tight, which is apparently a good thing. I also asked her about feeling my fundus, and she said it is difficult to feel on me because my abs are so tight

After that Scott and I went to Circuit City and I got a new cell phone with Verizon. I am happy that I finally got to switch. We did a few errands. It was just nice to be together alone. I really enjoyed his company!

Then Emma had parent teacher conferences. Scott and I went and it was so cute. Emma got glowing reviews. Mrs. Britton kept saying that Emma is amazing. She knows all of the letters, and can count to 24, but skips 15. She has already learned everything that they hoped she would learn by the end of the year. But more important to me, Mrs. Britton said that Emma is a joy to have in class. She said she gets along great with the other kids. She is very social, and loves to play. She is great at playing with everyone, and doesn’t cling to one person. Those are thing things that I think are the most important right now! I am so proud of her!!

I can’t stop thinking about Steph! I heard that she was going to the hospital yesterday to be induced. Dava was supposed to go when they broke her water. I thought sure we would hear from her yesterday. Hopefully everything is going OK. I can’t wait to hear!

Today I got to hear the baby’s heartbeat. It was so sweet! I had to go see Becky about an infection. While I was there I asked her to see if she could find the heartbeat. I laid on the table and she started listening. It took a while to find. I kept thinking to myself “I will be fine if she doesn’t find it, it is still early and could still be fine” knowing the whole time that if she didn’t find it I was going to be a wreck. She kept moving the probe around and finally just left of my bellybutton she found it. It was the best sound. I just got a huge relieved smile on my face, and I felt so good. It just helps put almost all of my miscarriage fears away. I walked out to my car so happy, I wanted to jump up and down.

I called Scott right away to tell him, and he was happy too. He sounded a bit disappointed that he hadn’t been there. But, I didn’t really have an appointment and it was spur of the moment. I took mom to SLC for her colonoscopy, and while I was waiting for her I ran over to the Birth Center. I have another appointment on March 9th, hopefully Scott can come to that one.

I just found out that another woman on my pregnancy buddy group had a miscarriage today. That makes 3 this week. It is so sad, and it just makes me that much more nervous. I was worried about miscarriage quite a bit at the very beginning, but then my fears kind of calmed down. But this run of miscarriages has me worried! Both of the women this week have had miscarriages before. One was having a problem with low progesterone, and was on supplements. So I don’t have any of those strikes against me. But, we haven’t done any testing. No betas, no progesterone levels, nothing. Not that I had any of those things with previous pregnancies, but I just keep thinking that I could have problems that we haven’t found out about. What if I already lost the baby, and I just don’t know it yet? I am trying hard to be calm and just enjoy the pregnancy. I don’t have any reason to think that there is anything wrong. Just seeing what these other women are going through is making me a bit freaked out. I need to try to calm down. I think I am going to go listen to my HypnoBabies Postitive pregnancy affirmations. That should help!

Tomorrow I am going to Jackson for the night with Scott. I am excited!! It will probably do me some good to get away from the pregnancy buddy group for a day or so. If I am still worried when I get back, I will go down to see Becky and ask her to listen for the heart beat.

I had my first midwife appointment today with Becky McGInnis at the Birth and Family Place. She was awesome! When I came in she said “Your hair is different…..It looks nice.” I must have looked at ther like she was nuts, thinking she must have me confused with someone else. How could she have remembered me? But then she said “I remember you, you gave birth last time here with Marcia.” WOW!! Marcia barely even remembered me after she had delivered Ian. Becky is definately the warm, caring person I am looking for. She was so calming, and positive, and WARM! Much better than Marcia. She kept assuring me that this time I would not be laboring in the car and rushing in panicing. I feel great, and being there was just calming. I know that is where I need to give birth.

We didn’t do much at the appointment, except talk. She went over my medical history, and all that stuff. We didn’t do any fun stuff We will save that for next time. Next appointment she will do a pap, and bloodwork, and we should get to hear the heartbeat!! I can’t wait. She offered to do an ultrasound today, since my last period was so light. I am not positive about my dates, but I didn’t think I needed an ultrasound. At my 20 week ultrasound they should be able to tell if my dates are off or not. It was tempting, but I decided not to do it My BP was 118/65 and I was 137 lbs.

I skied today and yesterday with Ian. Yesterday was a disaster. I took both kids–WHAT WAS I THINKING????–up to the resort by myself. Emma had a lesson, and I was going to ski with Ian. What I didn’t think about was how I was going to get from the locker room to the ski lesson with 3 pairs of skiis, Emma, and Ian who can’t walk in his ski boots. Ugh. I was totally exhausted before I even went out to ski. To make matters worse, as soon as I got Ian out there, he started crying saying he wanted to do it himself. He cried hysterically the entire time. We took one run and went back to the locker. Today we went again with my parents, and Ian skied with my dad. He did great today, and had a lot more fun. Go figure!