I got another phone call from Ian’s teacher today.

Apparently he visited her office TWICE today. Both times for “hitting” another child. I say hitting in quotations, only because many times when Ian hits another child it isn’t what you think. Ian is super active–he always has been. He also has very poor impulse control. An idea pops into his head and he just does it. He doesn’t stop to think of the consequences. So if he is in a crowded area and he thinks about swinging his backpack around, he just goes ahead and does it. In the process he could hit one–or more–kids that are around him. He isn’t trying to be malicious, but most kids don’t like getting hit with Ian’s backpack. So they might do something back and it just escalates from there. This kind of scenario happens pretty much on a daily basis.

Ian’s problems in his own classroom seem to be under control. He is getting his work done and not having a problem keeping his hands to himself while he is with Mrs. Johnson in his own classroom. I think he has figured our her expectations and the consequences and he seems to be doing well. The problems start when he leaves the classroom–as he walks down the hall, or in the lunchroom, or on the playground. Anywhere that is less structured and more chaotic can be a problem for Ian.

When the principal called today, I was really upset. I felt bad that he had gotten in trouble again. I just want him to keep himself under control and not have problems in school. I want the teachers to tell me how well he is doing and not how badly he is behaving every day. I wanted to do something immediately to fix it. Once I calmed down a bit, I realized that I couldn’t solve the problem right away. I talked to his teacher and the principal. Then, just to cover all my bases, I also talked to his pediatrician. All of those things helped.

Together we put together a plan of attack. The principal and his teacher are going to work on a new discipline strategy for him that centers around keeping his hand and feet to himself all day. Then, I am going to meet with the school psychologist, just to see if she had any suggestions or ways to help Ian.

Once I had that in place, I felt much better. I want Ian to do well. I want to see him focus and concentrate on his work. I want to see him happy and develop into a happy adult. I’m looking at the positive side now. We are lucky that we are dealing with this when he is 6. Hopefully we can get him on the right track so that we aren’t still dealing with it when he is 10 or 15 or 20

I have mentioned a few times on this blog that Ian has been having problems at school this year. I was thinking about this yesterday and realized I hadn’t ever really written anything about it. I just knew I had to write this one down so we could always remember it!

The red cards started the first week of school. His teacher uses a system of green, yellow, and red cards. Yellow is if you have one warning and red is if you have two. You can also get an automatic red card for touching another child. Ian has had his fair share of those But his first one wasn’t for hitting someone. It was for talking disrespectfully to a teacher in the lunch room.

Ian was in the lunch line waiting to get his lunch. It was really loud in the room. When he got up to the front, the lunch lady asked him his name. She didn’t hear him, so she asked again. He was in line with all his friends, I’m sure he thought he would get a laugh out of everyone. He looked at her and said “What are you deaf?” All his friends laughed. He told me that she laughed too. But his teacher assured me that “there was NOTHING funny about it”!

I had all I could do not to laugh when he told me the story. I could totally see how it happened. I know Ian’s sense of humor–he gets that from his dad. I could see Scott saying that! But his teacher definitely didn’t appreciate his humor.

Still, we had a talk with him about what was appropriate to say to adults and what wasn’t. I think he understood, though I am sure it won’t be the last time we have to have that talk!

Research shows that kids who’ve been overparented have an inflated sense of self. They end up thinking they’re the center of the universe, being immature, and not having good self-control.” –Jane M. Twenge The Narcissism Epidemic

Since the school year started, Ian has been having quite a bit of trouble. It has left me thinking more about parenting and what I want for my children as they grow up. I have been reading a lot about “overparenting” and the negative effects that it has on our children. Parents are stepping in to work out any and every problem that arises for their children. If a child forgets their homework the parents deliver it to the school. If a child is benched at a sporting event the parents get involved and demand that the coaches let their children play. As a result Kids are unprepared to deal with real life because they haven’t been allowed to practice fighting their own battles and rebounding from challenges. One article I read talked about thinking about what is best for the long term, rather than what makes things feel better right now.

The article made me think about an experience that Ian had last week. It was “tip test” time in his karate class. They have a tip test once a month. If you have attended the required number of classes and you have learned the required moves you will get a tip. This tip test was a rough one for Ian. He wasn’t being respectful to the teachers. He was rolling around on the floor when he was supposed to be participating. At the end of the class Mr. Klekas had a talk with him and told him that because of how he behaved in class, he wouldn’t be receiving a tip. At the end of the class when everyone went to get their tips, Ian came and sat with me on the bleachers. He held back tears as he told me that he didn’t earn his tip. I felt so bad for him. I felt bad that he had acted poorly in class and bad that he was singled out and he was the only one who didn’t get a tip. Inside I felt like I wanted to do something to make him feel better. I wanted to talk to the teacher and find out if he could have another chance. I wanted to fix things for Ian. I went home that night and talked it over with Scott. He was less emotional than I was and he helped me to see that it was a good thing for Ian. He was grateful to have a teacher who would stand up and make Ian accountable for his actions. If he didn’t deserve the tip, it was good that his teacher didn’t reward him with one.

This is an issue that is at the forefront of my thinking lately. I want to honor who my children are and give them every opportunity to succeed in life. Sometimes it is hard not to step in and fight their battles for them. It certainly alleviates the immediate pain that they are going through. It makes me feel good because I am doing something. But right now, I need to think about my ultimate goal for my children– to help them grow into resourceful and well adjusted adults. If withholding a tip in karate now will help with that, then I need to think about Ian’s future and realize that it is the right thing to do for today.

**I know I don’t usually get very “deep” on this blog, but I have been thinking about these things a lot lately. I wish I was a better writer and could write down all the things I am thinking about in a better way

A few weeks ago Scott’s sister Stephanie posted on her Facebook account about her 4 year old cutting her own hair. I immediately thought to myself how glad I was that my kids had all outgrown that stage. I kind of smirked and felt like that was one parenting experience that I was glad that I missed.

So, I kind of feel like I deserve what I got

I was upstairs working on my computer when I heard Ian say “Um, Mom, Nora is cutting her hair.” in a completely calm and collected voice. I immediately panicked and ran down the stairs, all the while hoping she hadn’t cut much. After all, Ian didn’t seem fazed by it.

But, I wasn’t so lucky. I started yelling as I ran to Nora. She knew immediately that I was going to be mad. I have talked to her so many times about not cutting hair. Every time I cut someone’s hair I always tell her that only mommy can cut hair. We never cut our own hair. Each time she shakes her head and says she will never cut her hair. I guess she forgot, because this is what I found when I got downstairs.

I know it looks like I set this up, but I really didn’t. This is exactly how she was sitting with the blanket and everything.

I didn’t handle it very well. I just looked at her and yelled “NO, NO, NO!” and then saw all of her curls in a pile in front of her. I was so bummed! I just walked away because I was so upset I felt like I needed to be alone.

After a bit I went back and hugged her. I told her I loved her and I would always love her–even if she had no hair.

I took her outside and took a few photos of her new do.

I still wish she hadn’t cut it, but it could have been a whole lot worse. I know it is just hair and it will grow back, but I loved her messy curls. I promise never to judge the actions of other kids again

Ever since Emma started school at Jeremy Ranch, she has been eating school lunch. I was excited for her to start school lunch. I was really looking forward to not having to pack her a lunch everyday. And I couldn’t believe that it was only $2.25 per day.

But lately I have been feeling guilty about it.

The food they serve is so unhealthy. She comes home and talks about corn dogs and chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese. I know that she loves those things, and I am OK with my kids eating them once in a while. But I am really not happy that Emma is eating those things every day.

I have been thinking about starting to pack her lunch. I am already packing a lunch everyday for Ian, so it really wouldn’t be hard to just pack two. Then I saw this post with a great giveaway and I think I am convinced.

I HAVE to have these Goodbyn lunch boxes!

They are adorable and would make lunch preparation so easy! They even have a 3 week menu plan complete with shopping list that you can download.

I’m hoping that I will win one in the giveaway, but even if I don’t I think I will order them.

Healthier lunches for my kids can only be a good thing!

Thanks to Martin Luther King, Jr. Scott and I were able to get married. At least, according to Emma.

She has been learning about Martin Luther King, Jr in honor of his recent birthday. Everyday she comes home from school with more stories about him. Earlier in the week she named all the kids in her class that wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t for Martin Luther King, Jr.

Then, this weekend we were having lunch at my parents house. She started talking about him again. She talked about how people of different races were not allowed to be married before. She looked at Scott and I and said “It is a good thing for you that Martin Luther King, Jr. did what he did. Because if he didn’t you wouldn’t be able to be married.” We both looked at her confused and asked “Why?” She looked at Scott and whispered “Because you are black.”

We tried not to laugh, because she is really sensitive about that lately, but I have no idea where she got the idea that Scott is African American! Maybe because he is tan???

So, in honor of Emma, I want to say Thank you to Dr. King for allowing Scott and I to get married

We have been coming to Maui for Christmas for about 15 years now. The only Christmas my kids know is one spent on the beach in Maui. All of our Christmas traditions are built around things we started doing here on vacation. One of the things we always do is go to mass on Christmas eve. This year was no exception. Then we come home and have a nice dinner and let the kids open one present.

Another thing I always do is get the kids matching Christmas pajamas. This year I decided to wrap them and give them to the kids. They were all so excited to open a present, but Ian was pissed when he opened his. He took one look at them and said “Pajamas?!? I didn’t want these!!” and then proceeded to throw them across the room. I wish I had a photo to capture the absolute look of disgust on his face. It was really priceless.

Scott and I both burst out laughing. I know we should have scolded him for not being gracious when he got a gift, but we just couldn’t help it. He was just so incredulous that his gift was pajamas! Once we stopped laughing we did explain to him that he needs to be kind to the gift giver and appreciate that they gave him a gift, even if it wasn’t one he wanted. But it was still funny!

He is the funniest kid and he always has us laughing!

For the past few weeks Nora has been having some sleep issues. It has been harder to get her to go to bed. Now that she can freely get up from her bed whenever she wants to, she seems to be taking full advantage of it. She routinely gets up 2 or 3 times when I put her down to sleep and she wakes up in the middle of the night and comes into our bed to sleep. I always plan on getting her and taking her right back to her bed but I am so sleepy and out of it that I often just wake up in the morning and find her in our bed.

One night last week I put her to bed. She seemed to go down easy, and she stayed in her bed. Scott and I were both upstairs working on our computers. About 2 hours after I put her to bed Emma let out a blood curdling scream and yelled “Mom, HELP! NORA!” I jumped up from my computer and ran downstairs. My heart was pounding and I was so worried that something bad had happened to Nora.

I got down stairs and was greeted by this:

When we thought she was sleeping, she was actually playing in the bathroom. She climbed up onto the counter and got the Eucerin down off the highest shelf. Somehow she figured out how to open it and she proceeded to put the ENTIRE JAR into her hair. She looked like she was wearing a white wig.

ARGH!!! I had no idea how to get all that grease out of her hair. Scott and I took her into our bath tub and first wiped out as much as we could with towels. Then I decided to get the Dawn dish soap, since it is supposed to be good at cutting grease I washed her hair with that about 10 times!

Now after about a week her hair is finally starting to look normal. Everyone thought her hair was constantly wet for the past week! Since then I have taken every last bottle of cream and lotion out of her bathroom. I can’t wait for her to outgrow this phase!

At two years and nine months Nora is still sleeping in a crib. She has been in a crib far longer than any of my kids. I moved Emma out of her crib at 22 months, because Ian was about to be born and he needed the crib. Ian climbed out of his crib shortly before his second birthday, so I had to move him to a big bed earlier than I wanted to.

So far, Nora has been happy in her crib. I have been expecting her to climb out for months now. This past week she finally did it.

Last week she woke up from her nap and decided she wanted out. She came walking up the stairs and startled me! I quickly turned around and asked Emma if she had gotten Nora out, all the while knowing that she hadn’t. Nora was so proud of herself that she had figured out how to get up herself.

That night as I was putting her to bed, she tried to climb into the crib. She almost fell, and I knew that it was time to move her to a bed. For the time being, I decided to just take the side off her crib so she could sleep in it like a toddler bed. She and I went down to her room with the tools and took off the side. She was so proud of her “new” big girl bed.

The first night she went to sleep as peacefully as always. I tucked her in and she went right to sleep. The problem was, she work up at 2:00am and decided to exercise her new found freedom. She came in my bedroom and announced that she was awake and ready for breakfast! I explained that it was still the middle of the night, and that she needed to stay in bed until it got light out. I tucked her back in, and didn’t hear from her until the morning.

Luckily for all of us, she has slept all night every night since. So far the transition to a big girl bed has been nearly painless. It has been a welcome relief. After the nightmare we went through to get Ian to sleep in a real bed, this has been a walk in the park.

Emma and Ian have been telling knock knock jokes for a while now.

Nora picked up on it and wanted to get in on the action. She has been telling the same joke over and over for a few weeks now.

“Knock-knock”

“Who’s there?”

“Banana Face.”

“Banana Face who?”

Nothing but laughter!

She cracks herself up and she loves to tell it over and over. Out of the blue, especially when we are in the car she will just yell out “Mom, I want to tell you my joke.”

She is so silly!